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Can you handle a fight?

If you have already been involved in a relationship, you must know that the ability to handle a fight (with your partner, of course) is a must. The longevity of your relationship depends on it. Now, each person has a different fighting style, more or less clever. See what is yours and what chances you have to keep your girlfriend near you.

Standard Situation: You come home late at night, under the devious influence of three or five beers. She is still awake, waiting for you in the living room, obviously nervous and prepared to make a big fuss about it.

Ostrich style
How you react: You kiss her on her forehead, say "Hi, sweetheart!" and go directly to the bathroom pretending that you are sick. There is a small chance that she starts feeling sorry for you, and so, you are saved at least until tomorrow morning (you give her the opportunity to realize that there's no point in trying to reason with a drunk). Then, as if nothing has happened, you go to bed and fall asleep quicker than ever. In the morning, you try to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes it works. If it doesn't, you listen patiently everything she has to say then ask for forgiveness.

Your secret: You don't contradict her (at least not when she's angry and, especially, when she's right).

Success degree: ****

Cock style
How you react: You know very well that she is there, ready to put you down. So, in your way home, you perfect a fighting plan and compose a speech to put her to silence. Making her feel guilty for something is the best idea you can come with. "Why did you lock the door twice?", "You always leave your shoes in my way!". If you develop the idea of your dissatisfaction, you know for sure that your woman will forget that she was the one entitled to be upset. But maybe she is not that naļ¶„, and she will make her number anyway. The fight will go on until one of you gets tired and gives up. And this person is not you, for sure.

Your secret: The offensive is the best defensive.

Success degree: * (The worst tactic one can apply. Doesn't work too many times, because she will retire from the relationship very soon.)

Dog style

How you react: Honestly, you detest this kind of situation and you feel very bad about what you did. But once you did it, you have to expect the consequences. You put your chin in the chest and listen to what she has to say to you. If need be, you let a tear trickle from your eyes. As opposed to most men you don't find it hard to say "I'm sorry, honey!" and these words pay off. She pretends still being upset, but you impressed her and you're surely forgiven. Give her a hug and you're friends again.

Your secret: You're as sweet as a puppy or as a kid. Play the "men are kids, you can't ask them too much" game, and she'll leave you alone having the satisfaction that she's wise enough not to make a bigger fuss than it is the case.

Success degree: *****

Cat style
How you react: While you're heading home from the pub, you become more and more upset, furious even, when you imagine your girlfriend's reaction. Maybe she's already asleep, it doesn't matter. If she had been awake she would have tortured you with her nagging. When you open the door, you are more upset with her than she is with you. To prove you are serious, you sleep on the couch. The next day you avoid her and don't say a word. She shouldn't mess with you like this!

Your secret: She doesn't know why you are so black faced, so she thinks it's the fact that you feel a shameful guilt. There's no point in pushing the knife deeper into the wound.

Success degree: *** (This method works to the point where there are too many hidden disappointments in both of you, and the relationship dies from lack of communication. Your problems are never solved, just buried.)

Psychoanalyst style
How you react: You always liked to analyze things, so for you, every situation of this kind is a wonderful occasion to explain to her why she really feels angry. "You think I'm worth nothing, that's why you come home so late. You don't care if I stay here alone!" Your interpretation comes quickly: "In fact, my dear, you are the one who underestimates herself, otherwise you wouldn't refer to yourself when you are trying to tell me that I made a mistake." Anything she says has a scientific explanation and you need to give it to her. Eventually she gives up whatever reproach she had for you.

Your secret: Show her she is wrong! That you understand why she is upset, but don't see the seriousness of it.

Success degree: *** (Bigger if she admires your wisdom, but dangerous if she doesn't buy your shit.)

These are the styles I detected by now and you will surely recognize yourself in at least one of them. But when a misunderstanding between you and your partner occurs, you should have in view some issues:
1. Nothing (except maybe from cheating your partner) is that serious that can endanger your relationship. If you learn to be wise and treat things maturely that is.

2. Saying "I'm sorry" softens the tone of an argument, it shows the other the fact that you understand what is wrong.

3. Saying "I'm sorry" doesn't necessarily stop a fight, so don't get mad if she still has some tough words for you.

4. Try to be calm. If you get irritated too, the argument will reach a bigger scope.

5. This is for the two of you: when you're facing a problem that can lead to a fight, try to look at it as if it were somebody else's. It will look less serious, unimportant even. This is what usually happens after a fight ends: you laugh at it, because it looks absurd.

6. Listen to what the hysterical person has to say, till the last word. Don't interrupt! She'll be obliged to lower her tone when there's no resistance from your part. Only when she's finished start reciting your part. When both parts are talking at the same time, the fight will last longer and the solving of the problem will be annulled.

7. Buy flowers! Even if you know that women become suspicious when you give them flowers (unless you do that often enough), it still works. It's like showing the white flag. You're asking for a truce.

8. No matter how much anger you feel, don't ever use your physical advantage on her. Once you did this, there's no turning back (even if she apparently forgives you).

9. Don't avoid open confrontation. You might have the impression that you escaped easy this time if she doesn't get the chance of yelling her reproaches immediately after you misbehaved. But, next time you make a mistake you'll pay double.

10. Don't explain too much your actions. You'll leave the impression you're guiltier than you really are.

11. "Discussion" it's a better "arguing style", no matter who did what or who started it.


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